Relationship therapy

Couples therapy in Amsterdam

Stuck in the same arguments, drifting apart, or becoming roommates?

English-speaking Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) in Amsterdam and online.

Book a free introduction

Couples & multi-partnerLGBTQ+-affirmingExpat-friendly

Two partners holding each other in a long, close embrace outdoors

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

What we work with

Key themes in relationship therapy

Not all couples are the same, but these themes often come up.

Getting stuck in the cycle

Different attachment styles mutually influence each other and can create a repetitive cycle of conflict.

Emotional needs

Many of us have not been given the language to express our emotional states and needs.

Repairing after conflict

Conflict is intrinsic and necessary in any relationship — but to grow, we need to learn to repair in healthy ways.

Restoring intimacy

Lack of emotional or physical intimacy can be a sign of deepening conflict and a fraying in your bond.

Closeness vs autonomy

Many of us learn unhealthy ways to balance closeness and autonomy, ending up either enmeshed or estranged.

Managing transitions

Stressful events such as coming out, parenthood, or relocation can put a big strain on our coping strategies.

The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives — and this is not exclusive to romantic partnerships.

Esther Perel

Is therapy for us?

You don't need to be in crisis

Many couples want to deepen their emotional connection, navigate life transitions, or work on intimacy. EFT isn't for everyone, but it's widely considered the "gold standard" for relationship therapy today.

70–73% of couples recover from relationship distress after completing 8–12 sessions of EFT.

Johnson, Hunsley, Greenberg & Schindler (1999)

Lasting gains — EFT’s improvements remained stable across two- and three-year follow-ups, even among couples at high risk for relapse.

Cloutier, Manion, Gordon Walker & Johnson (2002); Halchuk, Makinen & Johnson (2010)

The goal of therapy

The relationship is the client

The goal isn't to "save" or "fix" the relationship at all costs. Rather, it's to deepen the understanding of emotions and needs — both yours and your partner's. That could mean moving forward together, or choosing your own path with respect for each other.

Your therapist

Hello, I'm Mitko.

I'm an English-speaking therapist in Amsterdam working with couples and multi-partner relationships. Many of my clients are internationals and LGBTQ+ people building a connection, career and life far from where they started.

My work centres on Emotionally Focused Therapy: a structured, research-based way of understanding the cycle that keeps partners stuck, and of rebuilding the bond underneath it.

Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples — Externship, with a focus on LGBTQ+ couples
BA in Psychology — Sofia University
Member of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) and Stichting EFT Nederland

More about me

Mitko Lambov, English-speaking couples therapist in Amsterdam

From the practice

Reflections on connection

Short, honest writing on the things couples navigate.

Browse all reflections

Couples

Setting boundaries in conflict

A three-layer framework for protecting what you need in a hard moment — without dismissing your partner, and without turning a boundary into a wall.7 min read · May 2026Read Couples

What to expect in your first couples therapy session

The intake meeting, explained — what happens, what I’ll ask, and how to make the most of our first conversation together.5 min read · Jun 2026Read

Common questions

Questions couples ask before starting

Do we both need to come?

Yes — relationship therapy works with all partners present. I can also work with one partner on their own, but that becomes individual therapy: the focus shifts to you and what you bring to the relationship dynamic.

What if my partner is reluctant?

This is a common scenario. It helps to get curious about what is blocking them: do they think it would be a waste of time? Are they reluctant to trust a stranger with painful feelings? Nobody should be forced into therapy, but our first meeting is free and non-committal, so there is very little to lose.

Can we meet online from different countries?

I'd avoid this where possible, especially in the early stages of therapy — not for my benefit, but for yours. One of the goals is to build cycles where vulnerability leads to more connection, and it can be counterproductive if partners can't support each other through moments of real vulnerability.

What does it cost?

€170 per 75-minute session, including VAT. The first meeting is a free 50-minute introduction held in person in Amsterdam or online. Full fees and practical info.

Is it covered by health insurance?

Since 2013, relationship therapy has not been covered by basic health insurance in the Netherlands, so sessions are paid for privately. That does carry some advantages: there are no waiting lists, no diagnosis is needed, and you get to choose who you work with.

Session & work format

How we'll meet

75+ minutes

Relationship sessions run for 75 minutes, with marked improvement usually within 8–15 sessions.

Weekly or bi-weekly

Depending on your situation and stage of the process, we meet weekly or every other week.

In-person or online

I prefer to meet first in person in Amsterdam; fully online is possible, with partners in the same room.

Book a free introduction Fees & practical info